New to This, Yet Oh So Familiar
It’s true; I’m new to the blogging world. I don’t even read too many blogs. But reading my friend Julia Huisman’s blog called “Lettertodaughter,” and my overactive thought life inspired me to give it a try.
I am not; however, new to the concept of journaling. Since I was the tender age of somewhere in my adolescent years, I have quite the stock pile of half-finished journals. Some are horribly embarrassing accounts of silent crushes, celebrations of good days or released anger and frustration because of tough day. I’d say most of them are letters. Letters to God expressing all the above with added praises, requests, concerns, questions, etc. The letters are my favorite. They are like stone monuments privately built to remember significant moments in my faith journey. Sometimes I cry when I read them because I want, in the worst way, to get that child-like approach to my God back. Such an innocent heart, so in love with her Father.
Life is hard. Time brings a recognition of this, and getting older gives a taste. It’s kind of like this; I’m still walking on the same path I started on, holding the same strong Hand, but I’m not quite so naive to my surroundings. My clothes are a little more tattered and I’ve been a little bruised by the bumps that have either attempted to trip me or have succeeded to land me on the ground. I’m a little more calloused, a little more frail, and the farther I walk the less I feel like I know. I’m more aware of my human condition altogether. But here’s what I discovered last night…
I’m starving.
And it’s my fault.
I’m so dependent on Him as my source of everything good, right, and true. But so many days I keep walking, holding that Hand, and remaining silent–speaking barely a word, leaving hardly any room for conversation with this Life source next to me. It’s no wonder I feel frail. It’s no wonder I feel numb in fear. It’s no wonder I can’t shake grief.
So He’s talking to me today…like He has been every day for my whole life of 26 and however many days. He’s leading me in His way and greatly on the move, and I don’t want to miss it.
I’ll share more stories about yesterday. And about today. And I’d like to speak my hopes, visions and dreams. The first one I’ll share; I have hope that being vulnerable in this way, will remind me and bring me back to a place of recognizing the faithfulness of the One and Only God…Who was, and is, and is to come. And if it also reminds any of you who bothers to read this, then I’ll shout an even bigger Hallelujah. 
